One of the epiphanies I’ve experienced over these last 12 months is that deep down, whoever I am and whatever I choose to do… will be of no negative consequence to someone. Someone, somewhere out there, simply does not care what I’ve been up to. I can write a million blogs, be a journalist, a stripper, and travel the world — and to someone that won’t matter a bit. Other things might matter, like my ability to contiguously attend a job or my ability to commit to a homework assignment. Maybe my taxes will matter to them as opposed to my pretty face. Either way, for every aspect of my being, there is an apathy to match it.
I am not religious in the slightest. I’m okay with that. To some people, that really matters, for better or worse. I’m not a deist — I don’t believe we’re being neglected by a god. I just don’t believe. Just as much as my atheism might matter to you, to plenty of other people it doesn’t.
But yet I find myself questioning the nature of existence itself; and what if instead of being apathetic, existence (a mass perception) is just extremely forgiving. The whole of your existence is like ID photos, no one looks their best, so no one judges you based upon them.
What if we’re all just secretly very forgiving of each other and no one dares to admit it?
I don’t know.